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11-2-23

Be me. Be the unique me that I already am. Don't be afraid of rejection. It's just a thought, not reality.

I've started questioning my assumptions. Assumptions are how I understand the world to work. Everyone has assumptions about how the world works, and these assumptions vary from person to person. This is because they are built from our life experiences, from how we learned to navigate the world.  They also drive how we see ourselves in that world. A quote from the book Deviate by Beau Lotto states, "To question one's assumptions, especially those that define ourselves, requires knowing that you don't see the reality-only your mind's version of reality." Let that sink in for a minute.

I recently described the assumptions I hold as a tree. Some assumptions are in the leaves, and they are flexible, easy to bend once I become aware of them, while others are a lot less easy to shake. These feel that they are part of my core, the tree trunk, or even the roots that bind me to the ground. 

The entry I found in my journal, shown above, explores an assumption that I feel I hold deep within the roots of the tree. It has come up before in other posts and will likely come up again. The assumption is that I believe I am presenting my best self when I show up wearing a mask that fits the occasion. However, I recently realized that the masks I wear cost me more than I gain from wearing them.

I just had a great discussion with a friend where I was able to articulate that, because I perfected the mask I wore at my former company, I couldn't be anything but that mask. So, when the organization's needs changed, even though I knew I was capable, the mask I presented to others was no longer effective. Because I had perfected that mask, it wasn't easily removed and replaced with something more. In this realization, I understood that the mask is paper-thin; there is no depth. Unlike who we really are, which is full of layers. Because I perfected the mask, I never showed those layers. I never gave anyone a chance to see that I was more than the mask. Capable of more than what I was currently showing. 

So, now I'm sharing more. I've discovered that sharing more of myself in conversations, such as discussing my experiences and what I'm up to, while also inviting others to do the same, has given me more than I originally expected from them. For instance, I recently began writing a book and mentioned this to a new acquaintance when he asked about me. He then revealed that he owns a publishing company. Coincidence? Maybe. But I wouldn't have known that if I hadn’t been willing to share a part of myself that I hadn’t planned to share with him.

Moral of the story - share more.

This was written in the same journal entry as above, back in 2023. I need to learn to follow my advice more promptly.