Schedule

November 7, 2023

I'm still obligated to my schedule. I must get done the things I need to do before resting.

I wrote that three months after leaving my job and I still feel the same today. I have no one else controlling my schedule, telling me what is a priority, setting deadlines, yet I still feel that I do not have control of what is on my calendar. What is going on?

What do I want? Happiness, control, flexibility. All of those are just as true today as they were in 2023.

After two years, I understand that I'm trying to solve this problem through my tried-and-true means of solving scheduling problems - by scheduling more! And, of course, it hasn't been working. So, if I were my coach, I would see which quadrant I am lacking skills in. It's the upper right and lower right quadrants. That might not mean much to you reading this, but essentially, these deal with being inside me and inside of groups. So, how could these skills support happiness, control, and flexibility? To start, connecting with oneself and connecting with others. They take a lot of time. They are asking that I slow down and not try to do everything on my calendar. Instead, spend time with my emotions and listen to others' perspectives. I may need to slow down and remove a lot of things for now to practice these skills. Really giving them the time that they need to be practiced. Then what? Who knows. What I've learned from my coaching experience, both as a coach and a client, is that when you open yourself up to a new quadrant, many things appear differently.

I recently had a dream that seemed to be telling me to cut out the non-essentials. I reviewed my calendar and removed any unnecessary events. Now there's open space after the next two weeks. I need to be careful not to fill that blank space as time goes on. I need to use that time for practice. 

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